Weary and Waiting

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold:
"Peace on the earth, goodwill to men
From heavens all gracious King!"
The world in solemn stillness lay
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come,
With peaceful wings unfurled;
And still their heavenly music floats
O'er all the weary world:
Above its sad and lowly plains
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever o'er its Babel sounds
The blessed angels sing.

O ye beneath life's crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow;
Look now, for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
Oh rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophets seen of old,
When with the ever-circling years
Shall come the time foretold,
When the new heaven and earth shall own
The Prince of Peace, their King,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

Yes, technically it's a Christmas carol, but for me it captures well my experience of this Advent.  The fatigue is definitely starting to accumulate.  My steroid highs are less high (though it still goes a great job of producing insomnia: got about three hours of sleep last night). And the steroid crashes are deeper, and last longer.

But the good news is, only three more infusions to go! And my blood work has remained good.  My hemoglobin count has been just a little bit down for the last three weeks or so, so I'm trying to eat something cooked in the iron frying pan at least once a day.

A mixture of French breakfast radishes and watermelon radishes,

sauteed in ghee.  CSA bounty.

And this week for the first time the white blood cell count was a tiny bit low, so I'm doubling down on the infection control measures.  But neither of these developments was enough to cause the cancer center people to delay an infusion, which is very good news to me.  No delays! Let's get this over with! The last infusion is scheduled for Dec. 26, and a lovely Christmas present it will be.

I've been experimenting a bit with scarves and head wraps instead of hats.  Just trying to have a little fun with this.

The puffy face is a steroid side effect.

And I've found myself opting out of engagements a little bit more, though I have still been able to maintain my exercise schedule, at least four days a week.  It really helps.